Traditional liturgy for Erusin

Blessed are You Adonai our God, sovereign of the universe, who has sanctified us by Your commandments and commanded us concerning [forbidden] intimate relationships and forbidden to us those women who are [only] betrothed with erusin, but permitted to us those women who are married to us by Huppah and Kiddushin. We praise You, Adonai, that sanctifies the people Israel through huppah and kiddushin.

Alternative options

#1: Closely adapted Erusin: Blessed are You, the Infinite our God, Majesty of the World, Who creates fruit of the vine. Blessed are You, Holy One, who has set us apart through sacred obligations and commanded us about the responsibilities of all humans for each other. You have forbidden exploitation and abuse, and permitted covenants of love. Blessed are You, Eternal One, who makes your people Israel holy with a chuppah, a canopy of love and protection. (Attribution needed).

Baruch ata Adonai Eloheynu melech ha-olam borei p’ri hagofen. Baruch ata Adonai Eloheynu melech ha-olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav vitzivanu al mitzvot beyn adam l’chaveyro, v’asar lanu nitsul v’hit’al’lut, v’hitir lanu britot ahuvim. Baruch ata Adonai, m’kadesh amo Yisra’el al y’dey chupah

 

#2: Emphasis on love, using Jewish marriage terms : Blessed is the Infinite, Who creates fruit of the vine. Blessed is the Infinite, who lifts us up through holy celebration and awakens us to seek love and to sanctify our love through this ritual chuppah and marriage. Blessed be the Infinite, who makes us and all who dwell in the world holy through love.

Baruch ata Adonai Eloheynu melech ha-olam borei p’ri hagofen. Baruch ata Adonai Eloheynu melech ha-olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav vitzivanu al bakashat ha’ahavah, u’mikadesh et ahavateinu al y’dei chuppah u’kiddushin. Baruch ata Adonai, m’kadesh et kol yoshvei teveil al y’dey ha’ahava.

 

#3 Birkat Bechira: A Blessing of Chosenness (for two Jewish partners only, combination of Erusin and Birkat HaTorah, emphasizing the partners being chosen for one another as sources of Torah in their lives. Note that the script of who says what is more complicated here!)

Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the Worlds, Who creates fruit of the vine. And like that fruit, O Holy One, please make the words of Your Torah sweet in my mouth, and the words of my beloved sweet in my ear. May we, and our children, and the children of our children, and the many children of Israel, all become intimate with You, and immerse ourselves in your Torah with pure intent. Blessed are You, HaShem, You mentor Your people in Torah.

Blessed are You, HaShem our God, Sovereign of the Worlds, Who has chosen me from among all souls and given to me (insert Hebrew name of partner). Blessed are you, Adonai our God,  Sovereign of the Worlds, Who sanctifies Your people in marriage.

Officiant: Baruch ata Adonai Eloheynu melech ha-olam borei p’ri hagofen.

Couple, together: V’ha’arev na Adonai Eloheinu et divrei toratecha b’phi, v’et divrei dodi/dodati b’oznai. V’nihiyeh anachnu v’tze’etzaeinu v’tze’etzaei tze’etzaeinu v’tze’etzaei kol amcha beit yisrael kulanu yodei sh’mecha v’lomdei toratecha lishma. Baruch ata Adonai ham’lamed Torah l’amo yisrael.

Couple, one at a time: Baruch ata Adonai Eloheynu melech ha-olam asher bachar bi mkol n’fashot v’natan li et _____________.

Officiant: Baruch ata Adonai ham’kadesh et amo yisrael al yidei chuppah v’kiddushin.



Traditional Kiddushin (moment of the rings)


Groom says to Bride (traditional kiddushin is always a heterosexual marriage):

Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel.

 

alternative options

#1 Egalitarian version of kiddushin, each gives a ring to the other, not as an exchange but as two separate acts of giving:
Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel.

Harei at/attah m’kudesh/et li b’taba’at zo k’dat Moshe v’Yisrael.

 

#2 Focus on the community and secular law as binding:

Be betrothed to me with this ring in the eyes of our community, and according to the law of our land.

Harei at/attah m’kudesh/et li b’taba’at zo b’einei k’hilateinu u’khdat artzeinu.

 

#3 Forgo or add to the liturgy:

Create a shutafut, a Jewish legal partnership, in which two objects are placed in a shared bag and lifted by the couple to signify entering into an equal partnership.